I wanted to convey a habit I have of closing down and tuning out when I feel over-whelmed or depressed. Sometimes that’s warranted but usually it is better to open oneself up to absorb new energy–from the sun, from others, from new ideas or helpful advice. So the open flower is the new habit and the closed flower is what I mostly do now.
I drew myself in the box. This year I find my main mojo thief is the formation of a mental construct of “my style”. I’m really not entirely sure I have one but I’m beginning to form an impression of what other people see as my style and the “not my style” messages are starting to box me in from trying things outside of those parameters.
It’s a balance to both hone some promising techniques rather than giving in to total chaos but also keeping it fresh through being open to new ideas, materials and techniques. When it tips too much towards “not my style” I feel in a box.
It’s interesting that this struggle echoes one I had earlier in life when a construct of “the real me” led me to feel confused and guilty when I acted in ways that I viewed as “out of character”. Since my “real me” was a very lofty best of myself I spent a lot of time feeling like a failure. Hopefully the lessons learned then about all of us being a gestalt of selves can be applied to art journalling and I can avoid this trap laid out by my mojo thief.
The theme was “water” and after all the trite and predictable ideas had played out, I was left with the fact that I hadn’t been swimming in ages and yet I love swimming. Sometimes other people’s ideas about what is allowable for a woman my age or my shape, shrinks my world or ends an activity before I am done with it. To heck with that. Just jump.
The task this week was to turn around a page you had started and abandoned. Although a lot of art journallers recommend using up paint randomly on pages, personally, I like to be more deliberate. But in working intuitively with the elements already on the page, in the end I was able to “find my niche”.
I think of myself as very much an “in the moment” type of person. I don’t over-plan much but I realize that I almost always have a plan for my journal page, even if it is vague or changes along the way. I really didn’t like how it made me feel to not think ahead and just do what felt good at the time. I made a bunch of mistakes. I’m happy enough with this page now but it’s not one of my favs